Monday, July 26, 2010

*gasp* I have a subscriber! And it's someone I don't know! (And a side note about Twilight. *vomits*)

     Oh my giddy aunt! I have a frakking subscriber! I'm fairly new to the blogging scene, so this is good for me. It's a little ego boost. So to speak...Anyways, I'm not that great at updating am I? Well, maybe because I have nothing to blog about. Well, I do, but there are too many things I'd like to write about. So if any of my few visitors happen to have an idea, that would be very helpful.

On another note...
     I hate Twilight. It is a sick, childish excuse for a book. (Notice I didn't say literature. Ha.)  What the heck is up with Edward?! That psychopath is an abusive boyfriend who sneaks into Bella's room and just sits there...Watching her...And she likes it! And this sparkle business? No, not happening. Vampires BURN in the sun. They DIE. I was shanghaied into watching the first movie and when Buttface (Edward) walked into the sunlight and said, "This is me, a killer!"(Or something to that effect), I was torn betwixt two reactions. Do I laugh until I vomit up a kidney? Or do I throw my Robert Downey Jr. Dr. Pepper at the screen? You tell me, dear reader. You tell me.

     My friends and I decided to try reading the book with the help of a red pen to correct Ms. Meyer. I got to chapter three and lost interest and had already called Bella several names. I kept a running count. It was like...fifteen. And the actors? Not that attractive. Jiraiya, the fifty-year-old pervert from Naruto is hotter than Taylor and Robert COMBINED.

     Let's get one thing straight: vampires cannot love mortals. As much as we may want that to be, and as much as the various romance novelists would like to have us believe, it won't happen. Mortals/Humans are food. Maybe the occasional plaything. They view us as a big pile of fail. Yes, they were once humans, but vampires are arrogant beings. So there you go. Signing off.

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